True Blood Recap: You're No Good

Well, kiddos, it was another solid episode of True Blood.

When it opens, Eric is getting ready to munch on the Governor's daughter (and Arliss Howard as the Gov is a fantastic thing. He is so diabolical it's delicious!) when she starts spilling her guts and telling all of her daddy's business. Turns out they have a special camp for vampires where they are studying them and performing experiments. So, he takes her.

I love Ginger.

Pam says it best:

Then Tara kidnaps the Gov's daughter. She is in trouble with Mom and Dad!

Sam and LaLa wake up to Nicole and her stupid red-shirt boyfriend having helped them in the house after getting their asses kicked by Team Werewolf. Nicole to her credit apologizes for coming on so strong before, but still wants to help Sam with getting Emma back. Sam says no thanks, and LaLa tells her and her bf to forget what they saw if they knew what was good for them. Is that a threat LaLa?

Lafayette then lays it down on the line to Sam, and reminds him that when he needed a job, respect, and acceptance, Sam didn't bat an eyelash and was good to him, so whatever Sam needs, Sam has it. LaLa also left him with another bit of advice:

Meanwhile, Niall discovers a fae massacre at the hands of probably Warlow. He runs into "Sure, I'm Legit" Hottie Ben and enlists him in the help to protect Sookie. Ben creepily accepts. He gets the side-eye from me.

Bill has a plan. He just KNOWS that he can withstand sunlight, so despite Jessica's pleading, he decides to wait for the sun to rise. And promptly burns.

Obviously still feeling some kind of way, he decides what he needs most is Sookie's blood. He sends Jessica on an assignment to procure a pervy professor (who knows how to synthesize blood or some such shit) and he goes to Sookie's house. She peeks through the blinds but she won't invite him in...but that's ok because he doesn't need a damn invitation. He just barged right in. That was rude, and awesome. A little bit of Rick James, if you will:

He asks Sookie if he can have a sample of her blood, and she refuses. He lets her know she can come willingly or not willingly. She decides the throw down the "if I ever meant anything to you, you won't do this to me" gauntlet after this didn't work:

And Bill throws the "You are dead to me Sookie Stackhouse" gauntlet down so...that happened! I should really investigate this glee I feel whenever someone tells Sookie to fuck off.

To her credit, Sookie threw up the deuces and told Bill she was good to go with that.

Other items:

Steve Newlin, in a twist of irony so full circle I can't even deal, gets kidnapped and taken to one of those government camps. He gets a visit from his vengeful ex wife, who looks fantastic btw:

So, Steve Newlin is spilling his guts and telling them everything they want to know about Eric. Color me not surprised.

Andy's girls are teenagers now. He is still trying to get all cozy with his favorite wiccan, Holly:

SOON.

Jason comes clean about his hallucinations, and his headaches are worse than ever. At the end of the episode he collapses.

Nicole and her stupid Freedom Rider friends decide to roll up on the werewolf pack and...what? Persuade them to do WHAT exactly? I'm sorry, didn't you just see them whoop somebody else's ass yesterday? Yeah. That didn't end well. And it looks like Alcide's bitch is running his pack instead of him. The Freedom Riders get slaughtered besides Nicole, who escapes thanks to Alcide, with just a bite. 

In the ruckus, Sam manages to grab Emma and runs away, but they follow Nicole into the forest to help her. She is going to need it.

We leave the episode with Andy running into Bill, and having a quick chat about enforcing the vampire curfew. Bill notices that Andy has kids now. Tasty, tasty fae kids.

*Bonus

Lafayette to Sam: Before you turn into a snake or a turtle or a bear or some shit I can't talk to, let me just say something.

Can't wait for next week!