True Blood Recap: Life Matters and Radioactive (Season Finale!)

I had a bye week last week-I was on vacation. The great part about that was I invited myself to a TB watching party with my friends. The bad part was it was a boring-ass episode. I can sum it up in two sentence fragments:
Drunk vampire escape
Terry funeral

See? Not very exciting. Now on to the season finale!

Drunk on fairy blood and oh-so-happy, the vamp-camp vampires have retired to Bill's mansion and are fornicating, doing the Charleston, playing volleyball, and making Target runs for more toys. Alcide and Sookie take a walk through the cemetary post funeral, and come upon the drunk daylight vamps.

Sookie tells Alcide to take a hike, she needs to go check on her brother. Alcide growls but relents.Violet and Jason have apparently gotten very chummy indeed, and Jason is all about belonging to her. She told him she was going to make him beg for it! After meeting Sookie, Violet tells her a sister of Jason's is a sister of hers.

Uh, she's European.-Jason

While everyone else is partying, Bill is looking like this:

He has realized that although he is fully healed, his powers have been taken away. Apparently, all his awesome has been taken away too, because he immediately starts feeling bad for Sookie for pushing her to marry Warlow. (It's not like it was to save several other lives or anything.) He confesses to Jess that he feels bad, and she suggests they save Sookie once again.

Eric took off after the escape, and of course, Pam takes off after him, leaving Willa in Tara's charge. Tara was pissed, but that's like saying Tara woke up this morning. Duh.

Meanwhile, Sookie goes to visit Warlow who has been preparing for their ceremony.

He decorated a Maypole, too! Unfortunately, Sookie told him she just wanted to date for a while. Then shit got real, and Ike Turner showed up.

Bill gets Jason and Violet to get Adeline and Andy to help save Sook. Locked and loaded, they meet up at the cemetery. Adeline doesn't know how to use her fae powers, but instinct kicks in when Violet scares the shit out of her. Warlow was thisclose to draining Sookie, but she was rescued just in time. Bill and Warlow have a good fight, but it's regular Bill again and zzzzzzz.

At the Stackhouse house (hah!) Adeline hides in the vamp room, and Violet gives Sookie blood so she can heal. Warlow ditches Bill and heads to Sookie's house. Jason, Andy, and Violet try to stop Warlow, but between his vamp powers and his fae powers, he is lethal. Bill almosts stakes him in the back, but...oops...without his Billith powers he can't enter the house.

Good thing Sookie decides to hide in the bathroom! Niall swoops in from the other plane in an assist, with Jason staking Warlow in the heart. Done and done!

As everyone relaxes with the crisis(?) averted, the Billith daylight powers wear off. On our continent, no big deal it's after dark. If you happen to be in Sweden reading a book buck naked in the snow on top of a mountain in a lawn chair in the middle of the day, you might be fucked.

SIX MONTHS LATER
Bill is on the TV spilling his guts about Billith, taking out the Governor, and explaining the Hep V outbreak that has apparently created some crazed and powerful vamps.

Sookie is on the couch watching, and eventually Alcide looking too damn delicious (and with a haircut, thank GOD) tells her it's time to come to bed. Rwar.

Jason and Violet are still together. Violet is still not giving up the goodies - she did warn him - and for his pennance, Jason has been going downtown every day, sometimes several times a day. Rwar.

Mayor Sam Merlotte (I know, right?) has hatched a plan that he shares with the community at church. Healthy vamps need blood, healthy humans need protection. Come to a mixer at Bellefluer's Bar and Grill (I know, right? Go Arlene!) and find a new friend!

I see you LaLa!

For some reason, Sookie was dressed like this:

Anyway, at the mixer, there seemed to be some mild success in finding matches for donors/protection. Lettie Mae decided to bury the hatchet with Tara, and apologized for the terrible way she raised Tara. She talked about forgetting to feed her for days at a time...and offered to feed her now. Tara took her up on the offer.

Jess travels to to Andy's house. He greets her properly:

She promises she doesn't want blood, she just wants to offer protection for the family to make up for what she did to his other daughters. He accepts, and shuts the door in her face. Jessica stands sentry.

Alcide and Sookie decide to take a hike from the mixer. Bill cuts them off, and offers his protection to Sookie. She tells him she is all good with her big, bad, werewolf. Bill disagrees, and tell Alcide that glowing eyes or not, they are going to need more protection than that. Then they both smell it...a band of Hep-V vamps has smelled the fresh blood gathered at the mixer and they start approaching.

Cut to black and this starts playing:

Radioactive! See what they did there?

Anyway, TB is always good with the cliffhangers. A new age with vamp vs vamp, and where are Eric and Pam?? Are they alive?? They better be if they want me to tune in next season. Ha!